Yesterday I took him to the vet, for a euthanasia.
I've dealt with these sorts of tumours before (visible, ulcerating, aggressive), with my childhood dog.
So I knew the process, what was coming, when to take the decision... Still it's always so hard.
Took a few quills home with me, and had him cremated, just have to wait a few days to get his urn.
He was such a sweet boop. Very puffy but still always curious about everything.
I loved putting him up to my ears and hearing the little squeaky noises... then he'd annoint himself with my hair.
Poop on my shoulders. That sort of hedgey stuff.
It was an excruciating month. Every time I cleaned him, which had to be three times a day, I remembered my dog so that was a whole extra layer of sadness.
But then I'd hear him wheeling at night and it made me happy. Making him as comfy as possible while he was still going, y'know.
Anyway. I really wish there was, like, a support group for people with terminal pets. In particular, skin cancers. Just that specific routine of cleaning them, is so taxing, and pretty much nobody (well, here, in my surroundings) understands what it is like. I've thought about maybe trying to start one up, I don't know... I'm just rambling. I miss my hedge. I wonder how long it'll take me to stop worrying about making loud noises in my room or turning on the lights at night...
I'm ok though. Handling it. Venting here is nice.
His name was Trufa (troufle), he was albino. I'll share some pics of him later.